Anger is a normal and important feeling. It’s a signal that something isn’t right. You can help your teenager learn how to use it to help them to make positive changes and deal with problems. The most important thing is to help our teens learn to manage their anger and show self-control. The following are some ways that as parents you can guide your child and act as their consultants as they learn to manage their own anger.
Model good anger management as a parent.
Show them how to release angry feelings, be assertive, and give yourself a time-out/break until you have gotten your own feelings under control.
Help your teen express anger appropriately. Here are some ways to help your teen to cool down:
- Leave the situation.
- Work it off—go to the gym, swim or jog.
- Let it out—cry, call a friend, draw or write in a journal.
- Relax- listen to music, draw, meditate or go someplace that helps them to feel calm.
Identify what is causing the anger.
Sometimes teens can have feelings and not know where they are coming from and why. Life’s daily challenges can seem overwhelming sometimes. Help your teen to recognize of the source of their anger. Help them to pay attention to their body, notice their feelings, and research the reasons behind why they are feeling angry.
Think of solutions before responding in anger.
When your teen is feeling calmer, help them to think about what triggered their anger. Help them to look at what needs to change and what their options are. Help them think of ways to solve a problem that doesn’t involve yelling and screaming but compromise and accountability.
Talk with someone you trust.
Sometimes a trusted friend, teacher, coach or another adult can help to give your teen a good sounding board and help them to talk about the source of their anger and how to find a solution to the situation.
Managing anger is a skill we all need to learn. It becomes a problem when it stops your teen from making smart decisions. Having a trusted therapist/counselor to help you navigate this area of your child’s life is helpful. I am here to help you with any of the stress and challenges parents face caring for children and adolescents.